5 Ways to Help You Relax and Use Self Care

 


Ahhhhh…. Pure relaxation! When you look at this picture does it make you punch that clock, call it a day, and buy a one-way ticket to the beach? It definitely makes me want to! Sometimes we need to find ways to relax, recharge and let go of our stress. Sometimes a vacation is necessary but sometimes we can't always do that.  I don’t know about you, but I can't constantly travel for stress relief. So, wouldn’t it nice to have other ways to relax that don’t require buying an expensive plane ticket? Being able to find something you can do daily? No need to worry! I came up with a list of things you can do to relax and do for self-care. Self-care? What's that? Self-Care is defined as the process of taking care of oneself with behaviors that promote health and active management of illness when it occurs.

 

Last week I discussed ways to know you need to seek therapy and, in that post, I discussed the different areas that can start to take a toll on you and can start to cause a lot of stress. With that stress, it causes some emotion irregulating, some tension, and feeling so disconnected. Relaxation is what helps those symptoms to calm down and allow you to connect again with yourself. The things you use to relax start to become coping skills to deal with your mental illness.  So, let's learn some ways to practice relaxation and get into a self-care space.

 

Some of my favorite areas of relaxation that I talk about with clients are as follows,

Aromatherapy

Hydrotherapy

Breathing/Meditation

Exercise

Music

 

The two biggest relaxation areas that I use the most are aromatherapy and hydrotherapy and typically combined. I love senses that help to promote relaxation. Candles, there is something about having a clean house and lighting candles and just lying on the couch smelling the candle permeate the house. Have you ever heard of Dr. Teals? The company Dr. Teals makes a ton of aromatherapy relaxing products. If you are into baths you can get the bubble bath and Epsom salt and spend time just allowing your body to soak.  If you aren't into baths, they also make shower melts that you can use while in the shower to get the same aromatherapy without the bath water. They have smells to fit your liking which is great! I will add a link below if you are interested in checking them out. When it comes to hydrotherapy, you can also get into a hot tub or pool or just give yourself time in a sauna.

 

Home - Dr Teal's (drteals.com)

 

Are you looking to find a way to relax yourself quickly? Breathing exercises/ meditation is probably the best go to. All you need is to take 5 minutes and do a breathing exercise and you will notice yourself calming down. Breathing helps to lower your heart rate and blood pressure. The process of breathing helps you focus on the technique you are doing instead of the stress you are feeling. When you breathe in you are taking in fresh air and releasing warm air with all your tension. Below is a link to a YouTube video of a meditation breathing exercise that I always recommend to clients to try when you are first starting out with breathing techniques and meditation.

 

A Beautiful 5 Minute Meditation Staying Connected to Your Breath

 

 

 

Exercise is a huge benefit for relaxation. Whether you are swimming, walking, doing yoga, running or any other exercise. When you exercise on a regular basis it can help to regulate your mental health and allow you to relax. I recently got into yoga, and it has been a game changer. I know I am doing exercise, but I feel so relaxed after I finish the session. Yoga is a great way to incorporate breathing and mediation as well. I suggest creating an exercise routine to be able to incorporate exercise into your life daily. Below is a YouTube video on a yoga exercise.

 

Yoga To Heal Stress  |  20 Min. Yoga Practice  |  Yoga With Adriene

 



 



 

Music is a huge stress reliever and a great way to relax. When you are listening to music to relax the music helps to regulate the nervous system. When we are stressed or angry or anxious, we tend to pick music that is going to pump us up more rather than finding music that is going to give us the opposite effect. Instead of listening to screamo music while angry. Listening to classical music or something soothing can be more effective in helping your mood and relaxing you. “Music can heal the wounds which medicine cannot touch.” —  Debasish Mridha



 

I hope you found these relaxation techniques helpful and start to practice them! There will be more posts to come later exploring more coping skills in depth until then practice these and let me know in the comments or in session how you liked them!

What are some warning signs that you should see a therapist?

You know the feelings that come on that make you rethink how you are functioning and make you ask the question, "Do I need to see a therapist?" If you have, don’t worry we have all been there. As Michael Jackson says, "You are not alone, I am here for you." Seriously though, you aren't alone. There are plenty of people who have dealt with warning signs and they choose to run from those feelings. Do yourself a favor, don’t run from the feelings. Do something about the feelings. Some people could be experiencing these warning signs and don’t realize that they are warning signs. With that being said, I want to expand on what are the warning signs you will see, notice, and feel that are within yourself and tell you, "Hey I think I should see a therapist!"

 

There are multiple areas of your life that can be affected and show warning signs of mental illness. They are as follows:

  • Functioning
  • Social
  • Mood
  • Concentration
  • Sleep
  • Behavior
  • Thinking Pattern
  • Self-image

 

Let's start with functioning. Have you notice that you are struggling at work, school, or do not have the desire to even get out of bed or shower? This is probably happening because you are struggling with mental illness. This one is usually the most common issue I see while practicing. People are struggling to want to get out of bed or overall function and realize there is something going on. You can take a step back and try to use some self-awareness and determine if there is another reason this could be happening. Was there a big transition at work? Are you overwhelmed with schoolwork and don’t know where to begin? Are these situations that can you work through on your own or is something bigger going on?

 

Next up is social. So, you are struggling with functioning, and you don’t want to get out of bed, so you start to notice yourself withdrawing from others or things you used to enjoy doing. You used to go out every Tuesday with a group of friends and now the idea of going out with them is daunting. You have completely lost interest in those around you. You have decided that social isolation is the key to fixing your problems, in reality you need to do the opposite but that’s another blog topic for a later time. Let's say in the winter you love to go snowboarding but lately the idea of going just sounds like a complete waste of time. You struggle with ability to feel any pleasure.

 

Mood, big one. We are all human right? We all have days where we feel sad and days when we feel happy and some days where we are just blah. That is perfectly normal. The problems start to occur when you start to feel like your mood is very unstable. Maybe one second you are happy go lucky and then next you are mad at the world and then you are sad. Your mood has a lot of power on every aspect of your life. If you don’t find ways to deal with the mood, it can definitely become life damaging.

 

Trouble with concentration, memory or a logical thought, is this you? Someone talks to you and you didn’t write anything down, so you don’t remember the conversation. You are losing your keys constantly because you can't remember where you put them. You can't concentrate long enough to finish a task. Sometimes it's bad enough that you can't even put a sentence together because your mind blanks on you. These things are all normal when you are dealing with mental illness and know that with help, they can be turned around.

 

1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep, 4 sheep, please go the f%#$ to sleep! Insomnia is real people! Are your thoughts racing so much that you can't shut your mind off to sleep? Are you able to fall asleep but you wake up in the middle of the night to go pee and come back to bed and can't get your eyelids to shut again? Do you feel as if you can stay up for days on end and have SO much energy for activities? Do you feel like you are wanting to sleep all day and night? All of these things are issues with sleep that are affected by your mental health.

 

Are people around you telling you that you have been off lately? Do you feel out of touch with reality? Disconnected from yourself, maybe? These are all behaviors that can cause plenty of problems for someone. You could be feeling as if you are watching yourself from the outside looking in. You are detached from your surroundings and your own personal emotional experience.

 

Let's shift gears a little bit. So, you are struggling with behavioral issues, what about your thinking patterns? Are you in a constant pattern of negative self-talk? Are you in a pattern of magical thinking? This means you think that you can control or change the outcome of a situation or event by some unrelated event and no plausible link to connect these two events, AKA superstitious thinking? Your one idea, action, words or thoughts can simply change something on its own. You are kind of lost in irrational thoughts.

 

Lastly, are you experiencing low self-esteem or even an elated self-esteem? Do you believe that you are the greatest thing since sliced bread and you can change the world's problems in one sitting? Do you feel as if you are worthless, not attractive enough, or a waste of space? Have you experienced thoughts of wanting to harm yourself? At one point in time in life we have all experienced low self-esteem. Some have experienced elated self-esteem too. This can definitely come with the territory of being human unfortunately. This can be helped though. You are worthy of help! You are attractive inside and out! Don’t let anyone tell you different! If you are having thoughts of wanting to harm yourself and have a plan in place, please call 911 or call the suicide hotline at 988.

 

Was this all relatable? Am I the only one who feels somewhat attacked right now by my own words? You are not alone and know that at Enlightenment we want to help you with these struggles! We want you to want to work on yourself and feel good about yourself. We want you to get out of isolation and live your best life because you deserve it! Life is too short to live prisoner to your own self. Maybe it's time to get uncomfortable and start dealing with these issues. The only way to heal is by becoming uncomfortable, getting out of your comfort zone, and surrendering yourself to change! 


Holiday Self Care

 




ITS HOLIDAY SELF CARE TIME! It’s the greatest time of the year to feel your best! Holidays can be so overwhelming and feel like we don’t get a break, so we have to prioritize time to take care of ourselves even during the busy times of the holidays!

 

Make Healthy Choices, Most of the Time

If your mom makes her famous Christmas cutout cookies and you want one, then eat the cookie! Don’t restrict yourself constantly especially during the holidays. A tip to help make healthy choices during the holidays and just to watch your portions. Have one cookie instead of three even though it may be tempting. This makes it easier to stay on that healthy routine when life is back to normal again. Remember too much sugar, salt, and fat can impact your motivation, mood, and energy.

 

Say No

It's so easy to stretch ourselves thin during the holidays and say yes to everything. We must remind ourselves to be kind to ourselves, manage your time, set time boundaries, and decline anything that is going to bring you stress or drain you.

 

Pamper Yourself aka TREAT YO SELF

The holidays are a great reason to pamper yourself! Get ya hair did, get ya nails did, get a relaxing massage, take yourself to lunch, or buy yourself a Christmas gift!

 

Be Intentional

Ask yourself what is the most important thing to you during the holidays? What do you want to do? Who do you want to spend time with? How do you want to feel? Be clear on your priorities during the holidays and stay focused on what matters to you and get the most meaningful experience this holiday.

 

Make a Budget and Respect It

It is easy to want to do the most for our family and friends during the holidays. Holiday shopping shouldn’t jeopardize your finances. So, to be realistic, set a limit on how much you want to spend all together and then break that down to how much you will spend per person, so you feel good about your purchases.

 

Ditch the Perfection Mentality

We want the holidays to be a magical time full of fun, memories, and meaningful time. We strive for perfection but then end up disappointed or stressed. Perfection is not realistic. This year strive for an authentic "good enough" holiday! 

 

Decorate for Comfort

If you are anything like we are at Enlightenment, decorating for the holidays is the best part of the season. There is something about the soft lighting from the tree, cozy pillows, fluffy blankets, and holiday candles that provides such comfort. Find ways that you can provide yourself this comfort and create a space that feels safe and like your sanctuary. 


Mental Health Christmas Gift Ideas for 2022

 

Anyone looking for some last-minute Christmas gift ideas for your loved ones? What is better than a gift that could help their mental health? We have created a list of the top gift ideas to help individuals struggling with different mental illnesses that we recommend. Happy Shopping Everyone!

 

Best When Anxious- Weighted Blanket: Cotton Weighted Blanket: Machine Washable | Luna - Luna (lunablanket.com)

 

Best for cozy- comfortable PJs: Women's Beautifully Soft Short Sleeve Notch Collar Top And Shorts Pajama Set - Stars Above™ : Target or Women's Beautifully Soft Long Sleeve Notch Collar Top And Pants Pajama Set - Stars Above™ : Target

 

Best for Grounding- Biofeedback Ball: shop.meetreflect.com/reflect/

 

Best for Feelings- Journal: Amazon.com : Daily Positivity Journal For Happiness, Wellness, Mindfulness & Self Care - Inspirational Journals To Write In, Writing Prompt Journal & Guided Journal Gifts For Men & Women - Hardcover Diary Notebook : Office Products

 

Best for Relaxing- Dr. Teals Products: Dr Teal's Bath and Body Regimen Relax & Relief Gift Set: Eucalyptus & Spearmint - Walmart.com

 

Best When Feeling Down Due to Weather- SAD Light: HappyLight® Luxe 10,000 lux Light Therapy Lamp w/Timer | Shop Verilux

 

Best for Comfort- Heated Blanket: Cuddl Duds® Heated Plush Sherpa Throw (kohls.com)

 

Best for Organizing Junkies- Home Edit Books: The Home Edit: A Guide to Organizing and Realizing Your House Goals: Shearer, Clea, Teplin, Joanna: 9780525572640: Amazon.com: Books , The Home Edit Life: The No-Guilt Guide to Owning What You Want and Organizing Everything: Shearer, Clea, Teplin, Joanna: 9780593138304: Amazon.com: Books , and The Home Edit Workbook: Prompts, Activities, and Gold Stars to Help You Contain the Chaos: Shearer, Clea, Teplin, Joanna: 9780593139820: Amazon.com: Books

 

Best for Music Mood Boost- Airpods: AirPods : Target

 

Best for Quiet Time- Ingooood puzzles: Ingooood Jigsaw Puzzles 1000 Pieces Online

 

Best to Occupy Your Mind- Adult Coloring Book: Color Me Calm: 100 Coloring Templates for Meditation and Relaxation (Volume 1) (A Zen Coloring Book, 1): Mucklow, Lacy, Porter, Angela: 0499991687558: Amazon.com: Books

 

How we chose

Our list of recommended products is based on the following factors:

  • personal experience
  • high ratings of at least 4 or 5 stars
  • customer ratings and reviews
  • variety of gifts

 Reasons for choosing

Best When Anxious- Weighted Blanket: Cotton Weighted Blanket: Machine Washable | Luna - Luna (lunablanket.com)

Luna Weighted Blanket is the best overall weighted blanket. It is affordable, machine washable, and suitable for all sleepers fussy, sweaty and insomniacs! The blanket can be purchased in a queen size or king size and weights range from 10 LBS to 30 LBS. Weighted blankets are perfect when you are struggling with anxiety because it can provide you comfort even if you are just lying on the couch watching tv. The blanket acts as if you are being hugged and if you at a cuddly fur baby on your lap it’s the ultimate comfort.  This blanket ranges from 84.99-134.99 depending on the blanket size and weight.

 

Best for Cozy- Comfortable PJs: Women's Beautifully Soft Short Sleeve Notch Collar Top And Shorts Pajama Set - Stars Above™ : Target or Women's Beautifully Soft Long Sleeve Notch Collar Top And Pants Pajama Set - Stars Above™ : Target



Stars Above PJ sets at Target the best affordable PJs! They come in short sleeve and shorts set or long sleeve and pants set. They are made with modal blend fabric and are breathable plus they look very chic and relaxing. These PJs range in sizes from XS- 4X and are 21.99

 

Best for Grounding- Biofeedback Ball: shop.meetreflect.com/reflect/

The Reflect Orb is one of the coolest wellness gadgets we have seen so far. This orb is your own personal biofeedback tool. Biofeedback is basically a therapy technique used to help control your body function. It is a type of mind-body therapy. Biofeedback can help treat anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADD/ADHD and many different medical conditions like IBS, insomnia, and pain. During biofeedback sessions you are connected to a monitor that measures your physiological signals in your body such as breathing, heart rate, muscle activity and more. Based on these results the therapist will give you suggested strategies to help change how your body is functioning. For example, you might use a relaxation technique to turn down the brainwaves that activate when you have a headache. Typical breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery, and mindful meditations are the different exercises used in sessions. When using the Orb, you can physically see the body changes on the device, and it can help you change your body responses. This is your own personal assistant for relaxation. You can connect your device to an app that helps tailor your sessions to you and show you the progress you have been making. This Orb are priced at $229.

 

Best for Feelings- Journal: Amazon.com : Daily Positivity Journal For Happiness, Wellness, Mindfulness & Self Care - Inspirational Journals To Write In, Writing Prompt Journal & Guided Journal Gifts For Men & Women - Hardcover Diary Notebook : Office Products


Daily Positivity Journal for Happiness, Wellness, Mindfulness & Self Care - Inspirational Journals To Write In, Writing Prompt Journal & Guided Journal is a great journal for daily reflection. This journal provides habit tackers for personal development, inspirational quotes, positive affirmations, reasons for being grateful and more. It is a A5 size journal with over 100 pages to write whatever your heart's desire is. The book also has a note section, a ribbon bookmark, and a strap. The book can be found on amazon for $24.95.

 

Best for Relaxing- Dr. Teals Products: Dr Teal's Bath and Body Regimen Relax & Relief Gift Set: Eucalyptus & Spearmint - Walmart.com

Dr. Teal’s bath and body products are always a great go to! They come in many different scents for different ways to relax and recharge your body. The product we always recommend is the relax and relief. The set comes with soaking solution aka Epsom salt, bubble bath, body wash, body oil and lotion. The scent is eucalyptus and spearmint. This set is great if your loved one enjoys taking relaxing hot baths. This scent can definitely calm your mind body and spirit. These products can be found at Target, Walmart, Meijer or any CVS/ Walgreens. The gift set we recommend is at Walmart for $36.95.

 

Best When Feeling Down Due to Weather- SAD Light: HappyLight® Luxe 10,000 lux Light Therapy Lamp w/Timer | Shop Verilux

 

We all know someone, maybe many people, that struggle this time of year due to lack of sunlight and the snow. There is so much in sunlight that we miss out on in the late fall and winter months like vitamin D. By getting your loved one at HappyLight you can help bring down that seasonal affective disorder symptoms. This lamp imitates sunlight and helps produce hormones that help keep the body functioning.  This lamp is UV-free with 10,000 lux intensity. This HappyLight is priced at 69.99.

 
Best for Comfort- Heated Blanket: Cuddl Duds® Heated Plush Sherpa Throw (kohls.com)

Cuddl Duds Heated Throws are the best! With the cold weather getting us down and stuck inside, the best thing is cuddling up with a heated blanket, a cup of tea and watching a movie. The plush sherpa blanket provides the best comfort due to its soft cozy feel. The blanket is machine washable and has 3 heat settings. The blanket also comes with an automatic shutoff timer which is great! This blanket can be found at Khols for $69.99.

 

Best for Organizing Junkies- Home Edit Books: The Home Edit: A Guide to Organizing and Realizing Your House Goals: Shearer, Clea, Teplin, Joanna: 9780525572640: Amazon.com: Books , The Home Edit Life: The No-Guilt Guide to Owning What You Want and Organizing Everything: Shearer, Clea, Teplin, Joanna: 9780593138304: Amazon.com: Books , and The Home Edit Workbook: Prompts, Activities, and Gold Stars to Help You Contain the Chaos: Shearer, Clea, Teplin, Joanna: 9780593139820: Amazon.com: Books

 


The Home Edit book series is a great gift for those loved ones who need some help containing the chaos. Joanna and Clea provide you with a step-by-step guide to organize areas of your home. The books are easy to use, give practical organization setups, and relatable. If you haven't already, check out the home edit on Netflix to understand what Joanna and Clea do in the world of organization and how incredible satisfying it is to watch them transform spaces. These 3 books can all be found on amazon. The Home Edit Guide to Organizing is $11.89, The Home Edit Life is $13.96, and The Home Edit Workbook is $11.21

 

Best for Music Mood Boost- Airpods: AirPods : Target

 

Apple Airpods can definitely be a mood booster if music is your go to mood lifter. In the mental health world music tends to be an overall go to coping skill and to get the best out of that coping skill, you need great earphones to go with it. These Airpods are wireless and allow you to easily fit them in your purse, backpack, or your pocket. They allow up to 30 hours of listening with the case or 5-6 hours of listening time without the case. These are great for when anxiety is getting too high, and you want to use bilateral stimulation to help you relax and unwind. These range in price from $129.99 - $549.99.

 

Best for Quiet Time- Ingooood puzzles: Ingooood Jigsaw Puzzles 1000 Pieces Online

 

Ingooood Puzzles are a great way to relax and release yourself. These puzzles come in all different pictures from cartoon characters to beautiful paintings to seasonal art. This can be a good gift for the family to enjoy together for quiet time or just your loved one. These puzzles range from $16.99 - $25.99.

 

Best to Occupy Your Mind- Adult Coloring Book: Color Me Calm: 100 Coloring Templates for Meditation and Relaxation (Volume 1) (A Zen Coloring Book, 1): Mucklow, Lacy, Porter, Angela: 0499991687558: Amazon.com: Books

 

Color Me Calm is a great intricate adult coloring book. Adult coloring books are a great way for us to relax and calm ourselves down from the constant stimulation of adulting. This coloring book is organized into 7 different therapeutic themes such as Mandalas, Water Scenes, Wooded Scenes, Geometric Patterns, Flora & Fauna, Natural Patterns, and Spirituality.  These coloring pages give you a way to channel your anxiety into something beautiful and satisfying. You can find this coloring book on amazon for $31.88.

 


Maintaining Mental Health During The Holidays

 



The holidays can be difficult and stressful. Yes, for some this is fun and exciting but for many others it brings on nothing but stress. So going into this season it is good to start preparing yourself for what is to come. Your mental health definitely needs to be a priority during the holidays. So, what can you do to manage your mental health during this time? Below is a list of tips to manage.


 Put Your Needs First

Always put your mental and physical needs first during the holidays. Do you have certain triggers during the holidays? Understand what those triggers are and find ways to cope or avoid those triggers.

 

Practice Gratitude

Gratitude lists can be so helpful during the holidays. Take some time and reflect on things you have been grateful for throughout this year.

 

Manage Your Time, Don’t Overwhelm Yourself

Creating a schedule for the holidays can be helpful to manage your time. Allow yourself to have tasks every day that you can do to either meet deadlines or for self-care. Don’t schedule yourself too many tasks and make sure you feel good about it rather than overwhelmed. 

 

Be Realistic

When going into the holidays, always have realistic expectations. Hoping that everything is going to be perfect for the holidays is unrealistic. We must understand that it is okay if things don’t go exactly as we want and there will be some struggles along the way.

 

Set Boundaries

Family is definitely complex, and we have to set boundaries. We must accept the role we play within the family and that you can only control you. If you need to limit your time with your family, then do so.

 

Practice Relaxation

Breathing techniques, grounding, music, mediation, muscle relaxation, and yoga are all ways to practice relaxation. Take some time to refocus and reset.

 

Exercise Daily

Schedule time to get outside or to the gym and exercise. During the holidays, find things that can bring you joy with exercise. Puppy yoga? Dance class? Exercise can help release dopamine which can help you destress yourself.

 

Get Enough Sleep

Mental Health symptoms can be triggered due to not getting enough sleep. Try to make sure you are getting 8 hours of sleep a night.

 

Avoid Substances

Substances don’t reduce stress and they tend to worsen it. We think using is going to help us relax and avoid the feelings of the holidays, but it can cause more damage than good. If you are struggling with substance abuse, educate yourself and seek treatment.

 

Spend Time in Nature

There are a lot of studies out there that say spending time in nature helps to reduce stress. If you need to spend some time away from the family during the holidays, check out a local park or hiking trail.

 

Volunteer

The act of service can help us mentally feel better especially during the holidays. By helping people who are less fortunate, it can help you to feel less lonely or isolated. It can provide comfort and help you stay connected with others.

 

Have Support

Whether it is friends, family, a therapist or a support group, have support during the holidays. We know that it can be hard to get through the holidays and having someone you can reach out to if you need to talk and vent. If you are experiencing any crisis symptoms, contact the national suicide hotline - 988 or call 911. Please visit the local emergency room if symptoms become too unmanageable. 

5 Tip For Coping With Family Stress During The Holidays

 


The holidays are upon us all and we all know sometimes being around family this time of the year can be difficult and stressful. We all have a family get together and traditions that we do every year. Yes, for some this is fun and exciting but for many others it brings on nothing but stress. So going into this season it is good to start preparing yourself for what is to come. We have come up with a list of tips that can help to make the family gatherings less of a daunting task and something you can start to look forward to and enjoy!

1. Adjust Your Mindset.

If you go into the holidays thinking everything is going to be stressful or that you are going to be anxious the entire time, then that will be your outcome. There are so many times we have had our minds made up before we left the house to go somewhere and said it’s going to be a horrible time. Once we get the occasion it was better than we expected and wished we had a better mindset going in. Find ways to relax and focusing on the positive when getting with family. Is your favorite cousin who you haven’t seen in a long time going to be there this year? Is there an aunt who makes the best side dish or appetizer, and you can’t wait to indulge yourself? By lowering your stress, you can allow yourself to tolerate more and be less irritated during your time with family.

2. Have Realistic Expectations

We all have created this magical thinking that turns into unrealistic expectations. We are hoping things will go a certain way in a situation and that doesn’t happen. When dealing with family, we all have that one person who we know is going to bring up something that could tick us off. The problem is we can’t expect that person to change but we can change ourselves, meaning set a boundary and limit how much you are around that person.

3. Set Boundaries on Sensitive Topics

People bring up topics and start discussions without thinking about the people around them. For instance, "When are you guys going to have a baby?", others think it’s okay to ask but it can trigger you. How do we get through that? Plan to keep conversation off the topics as best as you can. If it gets brought up change the topic, ask the person what's new with them? You can also let them know you don’t want to discuss that topic at this time. They need to respect that. If they don’t then excuse yourself and find a place to ground yourself if you are feeling overwhelmed.

4. Use Radical Acceptance

You must learn to accept the things you have no control over which is your family. The only thing you can control is your reaction to your family. Sometimes if you know there is no changing the mindset of the other person it is easier to smile and nod and get out of the conversation. It's not worth the stress the family may cause when some of them you will only see once a year. Pick your battles!

5. Have A Plan

When going to family occasions for the holidays, come up with a plan to get through. If you are just stopping over to say hi then have an exit plan. Before getting to the gathering, figure out how long you are going to be staying if things are too much to handle. Having the exit plan can be helpful if you don’t want to stay at the event all night and you know when you get to leave. Also having a plan of coping strategies while visiting is always beneficial. If you are staying for an extended period of time, then make sure you are allowing yourself time to leave and be away from family while visiting. Have hometown friends to catch up with? Take some time throughout your time home to visit with others with whom you can enjoy their company.



Welcome to Enlightenment, Readers!

 


My name is Kyira Kerns! I am the founder of Enlightenment Counseling. I am beyond excited about this new journey with Enlightenment and all of the clients wanting to work with me. This has been a dream of mine since 2016 and it had finally come true! I am finally focusing on what I enjoy, which trauma counseling with depression and anxiety management. I have a vision for Enlightenment to transform this practice into a luxury trauma wellness center. A place where the people of Ohio can come work on themselves and get the most they can for their own mental stability. For now, I am starting out with the private practice and bringing in people to help make my vision come to life slowly but surely. I am the type that sets huge goals, but I always work hard to accomplish them.

 A little bit about me, I am 28 years old. I am married to my high school sweetheart. I have an adorable Cavapoo (Cavalier King Charles Spaniel mixed with a Poodle) named Finneas. He is named after Finneas O’Connell, a famous singer song writer and producer also known as Billie Elish’s older brother. I am very passionate about food. It is kind of my life. When I was in high school, I wanted to go to culinary school and then life happened. Now I am a therapist, obviously lol. I am obsessed with music. It is definitely my number one coping skill. I love to jam to Carrie Underwood, Ed Sheeran, Dan & Shay, Panic at a disco, AJR, Paramore, Nolan Kahn but I am also a fan of jazz music, rap music, R&B music, pretty much any genre I can appreciate. So, if you see me around and I am in my car putting on a concert for myself, don’t judge. I have a huge music background and have been performing since elementary school, so I am always up for jam sessions.



I love love love Harry Potter. I am a huge Potterhead! I am a Hufflepuff because I feel like you need to know that lol. I really want to go to London, England to Warner Brothers Studio and check out their Harry Potter exhibit. I feel like it's probably way better than the Hollywood Experience. I would love to travel to England, Germany, Scotland, Ireland, Italy, and Greece and just eat my weight in food. Oh, and check out the scenery too. I am a diehard Ohio State fan, born and raised and an alumnus now. So don’t come at me Xichigan fans! GO BUCKS! O-H! I also love board games. My favorites are Catan, Power grid, anything from the creators of Exploding Kittens, and any old classic games. I am always down for playing games during sessions. I know some people struggle with opening up and this is a way to calm that anxiety and not feel as though the session is focused so much on you.  So that’s a little about me personally.

Professionally, when I started out in the social work field back in 2012, I was very dead set on working in hospitals. I wanted to work with transplant patients. This passion came from my mother having a liver transplant back in 2012. I was focused so much on wanting to help these patients that I didn’t realize I wasn’t passionate about that area of social work at all. I started my junior year of college in 2016 and started taking classes on mental health. Due to childhood trauma and the trauma of my mother's transplant I already knew I struggled with mental health issues; I just didn’t take into account that I could actually help people who struggle just like me. I began going down a mental health track instead and started doing therapy in my internship and realized this was where I was meant to be.

Once I graduated with my bachelor's degree I went back to school for my master's degree in social work with a focus on mental health and addiction. I am now looking into doctorate degrees in social work to focus on clinical work. I have a background in working with addiction, mental health, co-occurring disorders, and severe mental health. I have also worked with youth, but I enjoy working with adults more. I have a supervisory background as well working as a program coordinator and clinical supervisor for a partial hospitalization program, detox program, and case management program.

 For me as a therapist, I can relate so much with clients and that is what I believe makes me so successful at what I do. My clients will tell you that talking to me in a session is like talking to your best friend, someone you have known for many years. This is something I pride myself on. I bring accountability and discipline to the table too, don’t get me wrong. I just want the people who pay me for a service to feel at home when they come into my office. I try to be as authentic with clients as I can be. What you get when you do a session with me is the real me. I am all about humor and having a good time in sessions as well as getting deep down and dirty with your trauma. I am a therapist who loves feedback. You are paying me for a service so please tell me if I am not meeting your needs so that I can adjust if need be.

I love to educate people. This is something I am passionate about as well. I love to teach clients and therapists new things and share as much about topics as I can. So, what is a better way to educate you all then to create a blog! This blog will have many topics. From mental health to addiction to self-care to of course trauma because that is what we are here for and also adding in any suggestions you all may have that you want to hear about. I believe this a great way to reach you all as my clients as well as letting you all see more of my personality. So happy reading everyone and I can't wait to see you all in session!

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